“Women are not that interested in sex.” “Sex causes women to form deep emotional connections with their partner.” “Compared to men, women have fewer orgasms.”
You’ve probably heard these cliches before. Many stereotypes about women and sex are rooted in outdated gender roles, but is any truth behind them?
To set the record straight, we asked our community to answer questions about their sexual experiences. We confirmed some stereotypes about women and sex, while others were contradicted by our findings.
Myth: Sex makes women form deep emotional connections with their partner.
Reality: Most women cherish emotional connection. Our Kindara community showed that 53.2% of women agree that the number one most important aspect of good sex is emotional connection, even above foreplay (1). Studies show that women’s most satisfying sexual experiences involve being connected to someone, not simply achieving orgasm, and that emotional intimacy helped them achieve better orgasms (2).
Myth: Women are not that interested in sex.
Reality: Women want more sex. Of the women we surveyed, 53.2% do not have sex as often as they would like to. Nearly three quarters of survey respondents would like to engage in sexual activity more than 3 times per week. Of our survey respondents, 13% would like to engage in sexual activity more than even 6 times per week.
Myth: Women have fewer orgasms compared to men.
Reality: Most women orgasm during each sexual encounter — many do so more than once. While we didn’t ask men how frequently they achieve orgasm, we did learn that 48.8% of women report orgasming at least once or even multiple times during each sexual encounter (1). You go, ladies! Many other women report having orgasms often, but not every time they engage in sexual activity. And hey, orgasm doesn’t have to be the primary goal of sexual activity anyway.
A 1994 survey reported that 75% of men and 29% of women always have orgasms with their partner (3). Our findings from 2015 indicated that in the 20 years since that study was conducted, more women are achieving orgasm during each sexual encounter. This positive change could indicate more equality in giving and receiving pleasure between the sheets.
Myth: Women are rarely in the mood for sex.
Reality: Sexual desire is based on the individual, not gender. (6). Women with high sex drives are underrepresented in research (7), plus new research challenges the notion that men are ‘always in the mood’ and shares that men face similar reasons behind the cause as women do (8, 9).
For the women that do find that they have low sex drives, many factors can negatively impact a woman’s libido. Of the women we surveyed, 82% said there are factors that have negatively affected their sex life for periods of time. Factors women were most likely to report that negatively influenced their sex life were stress and not being in the mood at the same time as their partner (1).
Sexual interactions with one’s partner can be complicated by numerous factors, as shown by the 15.4% of women who responded that “other” factors that have negatively influenced their sex lives. These other factors included being in a long distance relationship, taking medication that decreases one’s sex drive or ability to reach orgasm, and recovering from trauma (1).
We’ve made a lot of progress towards breaking down outdated stereotypes about women’s sexual experiences. Be part of the conversation by joining the community in our free Kindara App: